User:Andy/Rant/Your a pedant

No! I think you meant, &ldquo;You're a pedant&rdquo;.

Here's a quick English lesson for you:

The apostrophe (') is for contractions. If you wish to contract &ldquo;you are&rdquo;, then you can do so by writing &ldquo;you're&rdquo;. If you wish to contract &ldquo;you have&rdquo;, then you can do so by writing &ldquo;you've&rdquo;.

That's pretty simple. Just remember that when you're shortening two words together, there needs to be an apostrophe in there.

The other form (your) only denotes possession.

&ldquo;Your rant&rdquo; &mdash; the rant belonging to you. &ldquo;Your large stick used to hit people who can't understand basic English&rdquo; &mdash; the stick belonging to you. &ldquo;Your a pedant&rdquo; &mdash; DOES NOT MAKE SENSE AT ALL.

Do not be fooled into thinking this is a rant about people who are still learning English!

Oh no! If you want to learn English, due respect to you! I retain almost no knowledge of French from High School, so people who can learn multiple languages are to me worthy of much praise.

No, this rant is dedicated at the masses of English speaking people out there who will gleefully misuse an apostrophe or your/you're or their/there and then respond, &ldquo;heh, who the fuck cares?&rdquo;

'''You should care! You are making yourself look retarded!'''

And no, I am not perfect! I am forever putting the apostrophe into &ldquo;it's&rdquo; when it does not need one (an apostrophe only ever goes in &ldquo;it's&rdquo; when you are trying to contract &ldquo;it is&rdquo; or &ldquo;it has&rdquo; and no other situation). But I know that the first step to doing it right is at least noticing when I've done it wrong, and appreciate when other people find the mistake even if I don't.

This is not about perfection, it is about giving a damn about the people reading your words.

As the author, it is your duty to make the effort. If you make it hard for people to read your words (because you're talking like a retard, in elite speak or some other weird style), then don't be surprised if you just get ignored.

Update: 11/02/2003
Louise wrote me a nice haiku:

 Pedantic and cruel  Don't confuse you're and your. He'll  Kill you like a dog.

Update: 17/10/2003
This page had a typo for about a year and no one told me. You ignorant fucks.